MAY LYSSA

All perfect praise is due to Alloh. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Alloh and that Muhammad is His Slave and Messenger, may Alloh exalt his mention, as well as that of his family and all his companions.

Intermixing between the sexes, in the specific sense, applies to when marriageable men and women sit together, it may or may not include them looking at each other and conversing. What is the Islaamic ruling regarding such intermixing ? Is intermixing, as defined above, prohibited or permissible ? In order to answer this question, let us ask the following question: Is intermixing between a woman and a man the same as that between a man and another man?

The answer is certainly no, nobody ever said that the two are the same, as intermixing between men is permissible, in principle, while it is prohibited, in principle, between people of the opposite sex.

The following are real life stories of incidents that resulted from this prohibited intermixing:

· A woman began to develop feelings for her husband’s friend and started hating her husband, which eventually led her to divorcing him.

· A man began telephoning his friend's wife in an attempt to convince her to have an illicit sexual relationship with him. When she reacted furiously, his reply was to say, “Why do you not talk in the same manner to your husband ? He is having exactly this type of relationship with the wife of so and so.”

· A married woman worked for a married man. He fell in love with her and exerted all efforts in order to have an illicit sexual relationship with her; he also hoped that the woman's husband would divorce her so that she could be his.

Before intermixing became prevalent, a western man asked a Muslim, “Why don’t your women mix with (marriageable) men ?” The Muslim replied, “Because they do not wish to become pregnant from other than their husbands.” Words from the west regarding intermixing:

A female British writer wrote, “It is a disgrace that our country makes its girls an example of immorality and indecency by allowing them to intermix with men.”

Another female British writer wrote, “The more intermixing occurs, the more illegitimate children we will have. Statistics in our country have consistently proved that the rate of pregnancies out of wedlock is increasing as a result of men intermixing with women. Teaching women to stay away from men and enlightening them of the evil consequences of this intermixing will have a very positive effect in reducing the numbers of such pregnancies.”

H. Stanberry, who was a western reporter who spent a few weeks in an Arab capital said of her experience there, "The Arab community is healthy and perfect. It adheres to its traditions and restricts the intermixing of its young men and women, within reasonable limits. This community is quite different from the European and American communities. It has manners that it has inherited that sets limits for young women, and it also necessitates respect of parents. Moreover, it forbids the licentiousness that has destroyed American and European communities and families. They (i.e., the Arabs) forbid intermixing between men and women, limit the freedom of their young women, and go back to the age of Hijaab, and this is far superior to the licentiousness and shamelessness of the American and European communities."

The following are shocking facts and statistics that were the case twenty-five years ago in the United States. If that was the case then, how would it be now ?

· 70-90% of working women committed adultery with colleagues or managers.

· Half of those who were asked in a survey stated that they have had sexual relationships with their bosses, whether willingly or otherwise.

· Many male university professors had sexual relationships with their female students, and likewise, many female professors had such relationships with their male students; this is in addition to such relationships that took place between the students themselves.

· 50-70% of married men and 32% of married women had extra marital affairs.

· 90% of married women were not virgins at the time of their marriage.

· More than half a million husbands practiced wife-swapping on a regular basis.

· 50% of youths had sex before the age of fifteen.

· One in every eight women was raped at least once after the age of puberty, which made a total of almost a million women.

· One and a half million babies are aborted every year.

Intermixing between the sexes in the west has done nothing except enflame people’s lusts and desires, which has resulted in indecency becoming prevalent; this is a refutation and a rebuttal of those who claim that intermixing reduces people’s lusts, helps them to better manage their desires, releases the sexual tension and suppression that they undergo, and guards them against suppression and psychological complexes.

Contrary to this claim, the similitude of intermixing is like that of a thirsty person who drinks sea water to quench his thirst, which does nothing except to add to his craving. It is evident in those countries that have set no limits regarding intermixing or how exposed their women can dress that none of what was claimed has materialised, in fact, it has only added to people’s lusts rather than controlling or regulating them. People in those lands have become wild, just like the thirsty man who drinks sea water only to become progressively thirstier. The psychological complexes and diseases that they claimed were a result of depriving people from intermixing or by veiling women were actually fuelled by intermixing; moreover, homosexuality has also become prevalent in their lands. These two matters are a direct result of intermixing.

No sane person would suggest that it is possible to throw a person in the middle of the sea and demand from him not to get his clothes wet, nor would he request a person who was thrown in the middle of a huge fire to avoid being burnt, likewise, no sane person can believe that allowing women and men to intermix can preserve people’s chastity. Therefore, the Muslims who call for such intermixing are, in reality, holding in their hands a lethal instrument by which they will destroy their families and the Muslim community at large, under the pretext of being 'modern' and 'civilised.'

This is a forbidden matter in Islam because it arouses lusts and desires and leads to immorality and sin. There are many texts from the Qur’aan and the Sunnah proving this. The following are some of them:

“…And when you ask [the wives of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts…” [Al-Ahzaab: 53]

Additionally, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam prohibited intermixing, even in the mosque, by separating the rows of the men from those of the women.

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would remain sitting in the same position that he prayed in, with his back to the congregation, in order to give enough time for the women to leave the mosque, according to a narration of Umm Salamah, may Alloh be pleased with her [Al-Bukhaari]

Ibn ‘Umar, may Alloh be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, “Let this door (i.e., one of the doors of his mosque) be exclusively for women.” Naafi’, may Alloh have mercy upon him, who was the servant of Ibn ‘Umar, may Alloh be pleased with him, said that Ibn ‘Umar, may Alloh be pleased with him, never again entered the mosque from that door after hearing this statement. [Abu Daawood]

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, according to the narration of Abu Hurayrah, may Alloh be pleased with him, “The best rows (in prayer) for men are those furthest to the front, and the worst of them are those furthest to the back; and the best rows (in prayer) for women are those furthest to the back, and the worst of them are those closest to the men’s (rows).” This encouragement is to prevent intermixing in a location where ill-thoughts are unlikely to cross the minds of people. If this is the preventive measure used in the mosque, then it is surely much more applicable outside the mosque.

Abu Usayd, may Alloh be pleased with him, was once coming from the mosque when he heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam addressing women due to him seeing that the men and women were walking very close to each other after having exited from the mosque, “Stay back! You should not walk in the middle of the street, rather, walk to one of its sides.” Abu Usayd, may Alloh be pleased with him, added, “Thereafter, the women would walk so close to the walls on the side of that street that their garments would scrape against it.” [Abu Daawood]

We know that this sin has become prevalent nowadays but the following should be noted:

· We do not approve of it, nor willingly do it, especially during Islaamic lectures and gatherings.

· We must try to avoid it as much as possible and take all measures to reduce it, like designating separate entrances for men and women.

· We must fear Alloh and lower our gaze.